The Green Crystal Glass

Dear mom,
Incase I'm left home and never come back or killed my self, you should read this.

When I'm get home at 10 pm. I didn't have sex. I didn't use drugs. I didn't drinks. I didn't killed someone. What I did is just sitting in my second home and having a good conversation with other people, that I can't have with you.

When I get home, I didn't yells that.. I'm tired. I'm hungry. My legs hurts. My lecturer hate me. My friends betrayed me. A boy that I like hate me. I'm in love with my teacher. I didn't get PO class because my univ system are sucks. I hate psychology and regrets all the things I did last three years. And I'm totally frustrated.
No, I didn't. Not because I can't, it's because we all leave in our own world and never ever wanted to mix it or share it.

Shouldn't you greatfully thanked me? You have a daughter that can take care her self. You have a daughter that can do anything her self. You have a daughter that can always helped you any time.
Instead of telling me that.. I'm fat. I'm evil. I'm ugly. I'm stupid. I'm lazy. I can't do anything right.
This 'fat, evil, ugly, stupid, lazy, and can't do anything right' daughter still always dying trying have some friends. Yes, those friends that you never think good enough.

When you told me your problems. I'm listening. I said nothing. I'm try to understand your thought. Are we that different, or my way to see things are too 'immature'?

Is it that difficult for you to understand me? Or you tired enough to do that again? Do you believe people could change? Do you believe that I could change? Do you have trust that I'm changed? Are you sure that I'm have no any different from before?

Who are you that have rights to judged that?

I'm so jealous to those people who can share everything with their mom. I'm so jealous to those people who can do anything because they know they have their mom beside them. I'm so jealous to those people who can come home and say "I'm home". Because after all, I didn't have home.