Gw, dan seorang teman yang moody, punya istilah.. Bahwa mood itu kayak kehidupan, yang katanya berputar - kadang diatas, kadang dibawah.
Hari ini, gw menemukan sedikit hal baru mengenai gw. MUNGKIN mood gw selalu berada diatas. Maksud gw adalah..
Coba gw jelaskan lebih spesifik.
Waktu gw sedih, gw marah.
Waktu gw marah, gw marah.
Waktu gw kesel, gw marah
Waktu gw bersemangat, gw seneng.
Waktu gw seneng, gw seneng.
So?
Or maybe it is me who can't show emotions in an appropriate way?
---
Well, gw jg pernah merasakan perasaan 'dibawah'. Waktu mood lagi down. Tapi kembali gw lebih banyak memproyeksikan itu dengan marah-marah. Like just what happened two days ago (or 3 days? It's Dec 24).
That's reminds me there's a conversation with my sister. Dia bilang bahwa kita dididik dengan cara keras dan ekstrim, NO grey area. It should be YES or NO (and should be answer fast!). Yeah, that's true.
Scary, and sadly at the same time.
Tiba-tiba gw kehilangan arah, what did i tell about?
Oh, iya. Mengingat pembicaraan itu, gw jadi berpikir, 'apa kah mungkin, cara mendidik yang diterapkan kedua orang tua gw membuat gw menjadi orang yang kuat? Atau dengan kata lain keras?'
I think, yes. Dan bukan cuma gw. Setelah berpikir demikian, gw mencoba melihat sikap dan perilaku (ck, dasar anak psiko..) adek-adek gw. Adek gw yang cowo gak pernah memperlihatkan perasaan kecewa atau perasaan disakiti oleh orang lain. Mungkin karena dia cowo, ada rules of tumbs yang bilang bahwa cowo 'harus' kuat dan gak boleh cengeng (kenyataannya cewe2 tertarik sama cowo sensitif. Meskipun cengeng bukan berarti sensitif sih..).
Then I try to observe my youngest sister, she's 10. Mungkin karena dia masih kecil, belum terlalu kelihatan 'hasil' didikkan kedua orang tua gw. Tapi, dia dibentak kalau nangis karena diledekin sama temen-temennya. Apa kah lo mau curhat ke orang yang ngebentak-bentak lo setelah curhat? I don't think so. So, I think, there's a probability she's gonna repress her sadness 'till it become rage (or madness. Just pick one you think more suitable. Hehe..)
JADI, menurut gw, kedua orang tua gw BERHAK untuk disalahkan atas sifat moody yang muncul dalam keluarga ini, karena mereka memang BERKEWAJIBAN mendidik kami dengan cara demikian.
No, I'm just kidding. Or maybe not.
What ever. Gw masih terus berpikir bahwa orang tua punya tanggung jawab yang sangat besar terhadap kehidupan anaknya. Dokter, Presiden, Insinyur, Profesor, Montir, Tukang Becak, Pengemis, Perampok, anything. Itu 'karena' dan 'sebab' orang tua.
sebenernya apa sih yg memicu motivasi untuk kuliah? hmm,, apa temen? cowo/gebetan? rival? lingkungan? pelajaran? dosen? atau kuliah karena kewajiban lo aja?
gw gak tau mana yg bener, karena setiap orang pasti punya lingkungan perkuliahanyg beda dan pandangan orang terhadap lingkungannya itu beda2 jg. tapi buat gw pribadi sih,, yang memotivasi gw kuliah adalah temen, gebetan, rival dan lingkungan.
kenapa? karena temen2 gw baik2 semua!! haha,, setia kawan. mungkin karena memang anak2 psiko kali yah,, katanya tuh anak psiko eksklusif. gak mau bersosial sama jurusan lain. ah, sok tau!! haha..
anak2 psiko mang asik tapi bergaul sama jurusan lain jg enak kok.
no hard feeling yah.. gw lebih suka nongkrong di unit dari pada di senat psiko.
unit-> berarti berjumpa anak2 jurusan lain & mungkin jg senior/yg udah di atas, unit yg gw ikutin malah alumninya ikutan nongkrong (bikin penuh).
senat-> full of psikologi people, but they think them self 2 high. hmm,, gmn yah.. mereka merasa orang eksis dengan nongkrong di senat. dan menurut mereka kalo lo gak nongkrong di senat berarti lo gak bergaul sama anak2, gak eksis lah istilahnya.
ooh,, ok next.. gebetan. well ini penting bgt. memotivasi lo untuk bersemangat kuliah. malah kalo bisa gebetan lo ada di kelas lo. haha,, tapi sayang cowo psiko sedikit, dan dari yg sedikit itu gada yg memenuhi kriteria gw.
hmm,, itung deh cowo psiko 30 orang, 15 diantaranya ngerokok, 5 diantaranya merasa dirinya eksis (memandang dirinya terlalu tinggi), sisanya kalo ngga dah punya cewe, terlalu centil, terlalu diem..
rival.. hmm,, ini penting untuk memacu potensi belajar gw. :D soalnya kalo gada rival gw jadi males. nah,, sayangnya gw terlalu takut untuk menjadikan seseorang rival gw.. karena mereka semua baik2,, :(
lingkungan. wah yang ini pasti harus menyenangkan. tapi mnurut gw, lingkungan ini bisa dimanipulasi (bahasa statistik). misalnya lingkungan sama temen2.. yah gtu deh pokokke..
apakah gw punya ke4 motivator itu?
i have frens
gebetan.. umm,, ada di unit. wahahaha
rival, not yet
lingkungan, i love atma :D (kecuali bagian yang penuh kabut rokok)
-RiN-
tanpa berniat mengurangi rasa hormat atau menyinggung beberapa pihak.. gw mo ngomong soal puasa..
Puasa sering dilakukan dalam rangka menunaikan ibadah dalam suatu agama. Dalam Islam, puasa (disebut juga shaum). Dalam Kristen, puasa dilakukan menjelang Paskah, atau dilakukan dengan cara berpantang.
Menurut penelitian, puasa menyehatkan tubuh.
sumber: http://id.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puasa
bukannya gw gak mau menghargai yang pada puasa, tapi kan jadi susah. trus waktu itu gw pernah minum di bis (trans bin), gw gak tau orang di sebelah gw puasa (secara logis yah, mana gw tau!!) pas gw minum tiba2 dia langsung pindah tempat gtu!! sial.
gini deh, gw makan atau minum jg gada maksud untuk menggoda ato mencobai para muslim yang berpuasa sekarang kok. namanya manusia kan haus dan lapar. gw jg mengurangi aktivitas makan di jalan atau sambil jalan, tapi kan namanya waktu kalo gak sempet (makan kan kebutuhan pokok manusia)?? makanan yg gw makan di jalan juga bukan makanan yang berbau, jadi baunya ngga kemana mana n bikin laper orang yg nyiumnya..
lagi pula, bukannya kalo misalnya lo berhasil menahan hawa nafsu waktu cobaan sedang berat2nya pahala yang lo dapet bakal lebih gede yah?? *sok tau mode: on*
hmm,, dunno, gw agak bingun aja..
trus ngomong2 soal puasa lg.. ada yang puasa bikin kinerja kerjanya ngga maksimal. ok lah kalo misalnya minggu pertama menurun, tapi minggu2 berikutnya jadi kebawa. coba deh bayangin kalo semua kantor di indonesia kayak gtu! sementara most religion in indo is muslim. bayangkan seberapa banyak penurunan produksi (or sumthin like that) yang akan terjadi di bulan puasa ini??
ini kejadian paling mengesalkan..
atasan: kok kamu ngga semangat kerja sih?
pegawai: iya bos, kan puasa
what the..?? maksud gw, apakah puasa menjadi dalih untuk kemalasan dalam bekerja? agak2 menyebalkan..
ngomong2 soal puasa nih ya.. yg puasa jg bukan cuman muslim loh, katolik&kristen (yg gw tau cuman 2 agama ini) juga puasa biasanya menjelang paskah.
ada yg mau komentar? dibuka,, :D
-RiN-
The film revolves around an eclectic group of students attending a high school graduation party at a large house owned by a rich class member's family. Each character has different plans for the night. Optimistic misfit Preston Myers (Ethan Embry) plans to proclaim his love to his four-year secret crush, to whom he's never had the nerve to speak before, prom queen Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who in turn has recently broken up with her top jock boyfriend, Mike Dexter (Peter Facinelli).
Cynical Denise Flemming (Lauren Ambrose) has no intention of going to the party. But when her best friend, Preston, says he's 
going to proclaim his love for Amanda, she is dragged along. Kenny Fisher (Seth Green) is a ludicrous wannabe rapper who plans on losing his virginity by the end of the night. When he goes into the upstairs bathroom to "get ready", Denise happens to walk in. That is when the pair of former friends learn that the door has a broken doorknob, trapping them in the bathroom. The two begin talking about how they fell apart, which eventually leads them back to their friendship and escalates into them having sex in the bathroom.
During the course of the party, Amanda deals with being alternately consoled by the drunken girlfriends of Mike's jock friends and her own cousin, and trying to figure out if she truly has an identity past being known as "Mike Dexter's girlfriend". At one point during the night, she discovers a letter with her name written upon it. Unbeknownst to her, the letter was written by Preston, and after reading and subsequently being moved by its contents, she makes it her mission to find him.
Before the party, Mike Dexter convinces his fellow jock friends to follow his lead and dump their girlfriends in order to make a pact in which they all pledge to remain single as they go into college. Later on, an intoxicated Mike learns from a graduate and former stud from his high school that in college, jerks like them are "a dime a dozen" and ironically, find themselves on the receiving end of bullying. He tries to get Amanda back, but she is happier without him. At the same time, super-bright William Lichter (Charlie Korsmo) plots his revenge on Mike for ruining his life throughout high school. He has his two even more nerdy, X-Files-obsessed friends wait on the roof, while he goes into the party and to drive Mike out. However, while inside the party, William begins drinking in order to fit in. After a while, he drinks enough to make him forget what he was originally doing there and an impromptu sing-along to Guns N' Roses' "Paradise City" causes him to become popular for the evening. William begins talking with Mike, and Mike apologizes for tripping him earlier in the day at the graduation ceremony while William was giving the valedictorian speech. William forgives him, and the two of them seemingly become friends. However, the next morning when William sees Mike and some of his friends at a local diner, Mike acts as though he remembers nothing of what happened the previous night and proceeds to ridicule him in front of his friends. William, hurt and feeling betrayed, leaves while Mike laughs over the incident.
Meanwhile, Preston still longs for Amanda, and the scene relocates to a railway station. Amanda visits Preston at the station where she asks him about the letter. Preston confesses he wrote it and that he's about to depart for a pre-college writing workshop. But he immediately stops and finally comes back to Amanda where they kiss.
As the film ends, the characters' fates are revealed:
- Preston and Amanda became a couple. Amanda wrote him a letter every day while he was away at school, and "they are still together".
- Denise dumped Kenny at the diner, but the two proceeded to get back together minutes later in the bathroom.
- Mike went on to college but, after drinking too much, lost his football scholarship. He ended up forty pounds overweight and working at the car wash, a job he lost when incriminating photos appeared.
- William became one of the most popular students at his school of Harvard. He later went on to open his own computer company that has made him worth millions, and he's dating a supermodel.
- William's two nerdy friends were abducted by aliens after discussing that they didn't miss anything by not attending the party.
those part make me wonder, what we will be? tahu lagu Graduation (frend for Ever)-Vitamin C?
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
[1] - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
[Repeat 1]
La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
[Repeat 1 (3x)]
well.. will those popular people in my school still be popular at collage? will they the smart one got scolarships? will i still be like this? will my frens won't apart from me? will my frens at my grade have a good job, and married good people?
i dunno.. entahlah.. haha,, gw merasa ini menarik aja. will i a person what i wantto be? will we still greeting each other when we met at mall or curch? will they give me a call someday in the future?
once again i must say..
que sera sera..
-^^-
hmm,, td pagi gw ke skul. males bgt!! gw males ktemu anak2 skola. kangen sih. awalnya gw semangat kesana. tp setelah sampe n ngeliat (baru ngeliat) anak2, gw lsng males!! kenapa? karena mereka ngeliat gw dgn sorot mata 'not welcome'. pengen gw gampar atu2.
hmm,, padahal selama liburan ini kita sering tukeran testim ato email2an ato ym. walau ngga sesering gw chating sama ata. tp kalo ketemu mereka bisa jadi mahluk paling menyebalkan sejagad raya. ngga semua jg sih. temen2 gank DoZA gw,, domi n aji sih baik2 ajah. tp td gw dateng telat, jd pas gw dateng mereka pulang.. yah gak bareng degh.
gw jd agak membandingkan anak2 ssc dgn anak skul gw. i feel welcome waktu gw dateng di ssc. kenapa?? karena kalo gw dateng, mereka menyambut gw dgn sapaan ato kalo gw dateng pasti di tegor n ngobrol2. kalo tadi.. gw dateng boro2 mereka ngeliat. bukannya mau di perhatiin yah, tp hellowww!!! mereka itu temen2 gw. 5hari seminggu ketemu, beberapa temen2 gw dari sd. malah ada yg dari tk!! damn hell!! mereka bener2 ngga ngehargain gw. bukannya gw gila respect yah.. tp masa nyapa aja gak!
yaaahh,, gak papa deh. toh gw gak ktemu mereka lg. n itu bisa jd plajaran buat gw. jadi kalo ada sesuatu kegiatan, gw harus ramah sama org. so mereka gak feel bad to attend acara itu. n gw rasa being polite is not a sins.. hehe,,
sebenernya ada jg temen gw yg nyapa. namanya mozes. haha. tuh anak,, inu. suka di panggil ini soalnya punya gingsul. anaknya baik, suka main di warnet. tp sayangnya mother's son bgt!! hoho.. dia nyapa gw,"eh, ibu ketua.." yg gw bales dgn hormat tangan kiri, soalnya tangan kanan gw telat ngangkat. huehehe.. gw mank ktua kelas. tp gw gak pernah merasa bangga dgn gelar itu. abis anak2 kelas gw milih gw jd ktua kelas jg karena tumbal. soalnya ketua itu bertanggung jawab sama kelasnya. trus kalo ada apa2 'ketua kelas'!! kalo guru ketinggalan buku di ruang guru, 'ketua kelas'!! kalo guru gak ada, 'ketua kelas'!! kalo kelas berisik, 'ketua kelas'!! kalo kelas mo ada acara ngunjungin wali kelas yg kebajiran, 'ketua kelas'!! damn hell with that 'ketua kelas'!!
haha,, kalo melihat kehidupan gw di skul, gw tuh sangat menyedihkan sebenarnya. lebih tepatnya gw pasrah dgn lingkungan gw. kenapa? karena memang gw gak berdaya disana. entah kenapa. mungkin kalo lo skul di SMUK RICCI 2 bakal ngerti. kalo mnurut gw sih itu semua karena anak2nya sombong n suka memandang tinggi dirinya sendiri. ini gw sadari saat gw masuk ssc n ketemu sama anak2 pj. mereka nyapa gw, ramah, ngajak ngobrol dsb. i feel welcome there. tdnya gw mikir slama ssc gw bakal blajar, karena sebenernya waktu masuk pertama kali gw mikir males untuk bersosialisasi lg. sebenernya gw trauma bersosialisasi, takut bakal ktemu sama anak2 yg tipenya skola bgt!! haha,, org pertama yg ge knal di ssc itu sara puspita dewi. yaap sara itu. kedua si wijayanti. knalannya pas test pertama gtu. kemudian baru anak2 pj.. ternyata org2 itu masuk kelas slasa jumat. i'm so happy. smangat les, karena disana gw bisa ketawa, ngobrol2, makan di obonk. gw merasa mereka membuka diri n mo menerima gw apa adanya. waktu gw bete n males ngomong mereka perduli sama gw, mereka nanya, mereka ngajak ngobrol walau gw bales omongan mereka dgn kasar. dan ujung2nya gw pun minta mav sama mereka. mereka mau menerima gw apa adanya, n gw pun akhirnya menerima mereka. makanya untuk waktu yg sedikit disana i have so many think. i feel like home.
gw jd membandingkan hidup gw di ssc, rumah n skul. selama setahun di kelas 3, waktu gw habiskan di luar rumah. pagi skolah sampe jam 3, pulang makan istirahat sebentar trus jam stengah lima teng brangkat ssc pulang jam 8 mandi makan tidur.. begitu setiap hari. well sebenernya cuman slasa jumat sih, tp ujung2nya gw les setiap hari, soalnya gw seneng les!! haha.. my mom yg memperhatikan gw, pernah bilang.."aura lo beda bgt sih kalo abis pulang skolah sama pulang les." gw sih diem ajah. abis gw jg ngerasa gitu. pulang skola gw bete bgt, suntuk. pulang les gw senyam senyum.
karena hidup gw di ssc itu indah. ada sara, dika, bio, pj crew, anak2 rabu (ata, anggi, manda, maria..), global crew, banyak deh!! guru2nya jg ambil bagian, pa abu, pa yudi, pa sofian (ehem,,), pa sugeng.. blakangan gw bertemu dgn pa kosim (miss him 2. dia jago bersilat lidah!! n lucu abis!!), pa kamal, pa kelik, pa supri. semuanya nyebelin, lucu, rese, ngeselin, n baik. pa abu yg sabar n jago ngajar kimia. pa yudi yg lucu garink n seneng di foto. pa sofian yg jutek rese n suka kasar. pa sugeng yg rese, suka negor gw brisik, negor gw gak nyatet, negor gw telat (ahaha). pa kosim yg bilang gw cerdik. pa kamal yg senyum mulu, terbuka bgt n nebak sifat dasar gw. pa supri yg jago bhs ind, yg tlp nyokap gw n bikin gw di marahin. ngga lupa mba dona, mas ali, n pa oban.. ahaha,, mba don yg pernah di marahin bokap gw gara2 libur ssc yg ngga enak. mas ali yg sering gw utangin beng2 n susu. pa oban yg suka garink, n pernah nemenin gw sampe jam setengah9 gara2 gw belom di jemput..
wew.. gak lama lg gw bakal nangis neh..
ahaha,, sial lagunya pas pula. graduation by vit c..
haha,, gw merinding. beneran deh.. kalo gw menerawang jauh ke belakang. waktu gw kelas 1, 2, 3. gw di ssc.. gw pengen nangis. semua itu,, nyebelin, ngeselin, indah, menyenangkan, menyedihkan.. gw merasa lebih dewasa skarang. n entah kenapa gw jd mensyukuri semua itu. semua yg udah bikin gw marah2, ketawa, nangis, jatoh, sebel, seneng, jatuh cinta, patah hati..
i'm gonna cry
-RiN-
hmm,, td pagi gw baca blog ata n berusaha meninggalkan comment saat online sebentar. tp gak sempet, cuz gw buru2 musti ke skul. cap 3 jari dsb.. mo comment di blognya ata, kepanjangan!! haha.. jd gw tulis disini aja. siapa tau dia baca..
gimana yah ta.. kalo gw jd lo sih gw bakal mikir,"apa yg akan gw lakukan dgn gelar BS.."
dari semua jurusan yg lo sebutin, itu.. coba kita liat lebih jauh ke depan. art-what will you be?? sculptor? artist? designer? well,, mnurut gw, 2 dr tiga pekerjaan yg gw sebutin di bidang art itu masa depannya masih ngga pasti.. next, arsitektur.. kalo ngga sala (ini yg gw tau) arsitek itu, sangat bergantung sama proyek. waktu lo dpt proyek, lo bisa kaya krn duit lsng dikasih ke elo. tp begitu proyek selesai, no money nodong.. haha,, oke, kita bilang lo masuk perusahaan tetap. entah jd apa, pokoknya lo di kontrak panjang.. tp ini indonesia. kita lihat kota2 besar have no more land. yah,, ke papua aja. hehe,, masih lapangan disana. next, biologi. ini mungkin agak tajam buat lo. lo mo jadi apa ta? scientist?? what next? sori, maksud gw, lo mo kerja dimana? meneliti sesuatu? penelitian itu butuh dana. yah, klo lo beruntung sih bisa aja dapet perusahaan yg mendanai.
i dunno.. thats was just my opinion..
should i tell bout that spmb think?? well sebenernya gw males.. abis sama skali tidak menarik. masih mendingan smup padjajaran. lebih seru,,
yah sudahlagh,, intinya hmm.. spmb itu susah. (emang ada yg gampang buat lo?? hohoho..)
sebenernya lebih menarik kejadian sebelum spmb. haha,, gw sakit n di rawat di rs. wew..
percaya ngga dulu gw pernah berniat sakit n masuk rs cuman buat ngerasain nginep di rs tuh gimana. n stelah gw ngerasain. TIDAK!!!! hohoho,,
well,, gw masuk rs krn db. hoho..
duh berhubung sekarang dah malem bgt, n my mom dah marah2 itu.. jd gw tidur dolo degh. mungkin besok kalo gw mood lg nulis, gw ceritain lengkap..
nite..
-gh-